Sex is a very personal and very sensitive issue, but it is now the number one issue dominating the globe and affecting areas such as legislation, the economy and education. Not even poverty is as dominant an issue as sex these days. But the fact that it is such an issue today makes it less personal and more of a public matter that needs to be addressed, so that we can get back to the really pertinent concerns.
Oftentimes, the things that we are afraid to discuss are the things that always destroy us. In every setting, if you were to ask who has a financial problem, most if not all present would stand or raise their hands. But if you were to ask who is having a sexual problem, then nobody would stand, but they would ask to speak to you privately afterwards.
The reason that church leaders are not as effective as they ought to be, is that the enemy plagues them with sexual issues, psychological problems and very often, superstitious beliefs.
Oral sex
Here is an issue, for example – Is oral sex wrong?
From a medical perspective, doctors will tell you that it has the potential to cause gonorrhoea of the throat, yeast infections, chlamydia, Human Immunodeficiency Virus (HIV) and herpes, among other things.
From a spiritual perspective, the mouth is supposed to be a consecrated organ that should speak life, blessings, positive things (Isaiah 6: 4 & 7).
Most leaders will use Hebrews 13: 4 to justify that married couples can do whatever they want, including the oral, anal or bondage form of intercourse.
Now, while most may say this is no one else’s business but those involved, the scriptures do speak on lawful versus unlawful sex. This particular scripture is showing us that sex outside of marriage, or with whoremongers, adulterers, fornicators and so on is defiling and that sex within the confines of marriage (as laid out in the scriptures) is not.
God created male and female married couples to have sex, thus sexual intercourse glorifies God our Creator (Genesis 1: 27 & 31; Proverbs 6: 5). God’s purpose for sex was for us to reproduce after our kind, with a bonus of experiences such as pleasure, intimacy, spiritual bonding, stress release and deliverance from temptation.
That being said, having recognised that God created us to have sex in order to reproduce, how can we reproduce through oral or anal sex?
Interestingly, there was an instance where God struck a man dead for spilling his seed/semen (Genesis 38: 9 – 10).
Proverbs 5: 19 states, “As a loving deer and a graceful doe, Let her breasts satisfy you at all times; And always be enraptured with her love.”
God wants our sexual needs met, but in a way that does not defile; there are boundaries. These boundaries are not physical, they are spiritual and moral. There is no need for sex toys and R or X-rated movies to stimulate any individual. But recognise that each person has a different calling and wherever the Bible is silent on a particular area, one should seek the Holy Spirit to give them clarity or instruction on the matter. The Holy Spirit is comforter, counsellor, advocate and helper (John 15: 26; John 16: 5 – 15).
God wants us to enjoy sex so much that He laid it out in His word that a husband or wife should not deny either party of this wonderful gift! Husbands and wives should not even go on long fasts to deny each other (I Corinthians 7: 3 – 5).
Wisdom
When in the scriptures it states that someone ‘knew’ someone, it was not referring to mere acquaintances; it was telling us that someone had intercourse with someone. It is the duty of the husband to take care of his wife generously in this area; and also the duty of the wife to do the same.
If every pastor, politician, doctor, teacher, lawyer, judge, labourer, journalist, musician or bus driver would feed their wives sexually as they contribute to or influence the society, then we would see major and positive changes in the society and balance restored!
It is time to pray that your sex life will become hotter and more pleasure-filled. Pray before sex and ask God to strengthen you and grant you more stamina to be a long-distance ‘runner’. Pray that all the forces working against the health of your sex life – your mind, the problems you face and other things – will go, so that you enjoy the gift He has given you and even cause you to be more creative!
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